emchi.co.uk

Just downloaded (legally, but I’ll get to that in a moment) the first episode of Pushing Daises (links to the IMDb page for Pushing Daises if you’re interested).  Firstly absolutely hilarious, and impressive American accent from Anna Freil.  Secondly, it’s a tad on the sickly side of things but it does make me think about Dead Like Me.

Well you’ve got a girl, in both cases, who died and was essentially brought back to life.  Although in Dead Like Me George was hit by a toilet seat falling from the international space station, and when I say brought back to life she was still dead, and now a “reaper”.  She took life from others.  In Pushing Daises, Chuck (Anna Freil) gets strangled and is brought back to life by Ned who can apparently bring people back to life.

Sickly and sweet, not a bad combination, and also reasonably watchable.  The bit where the waitress at the beginning talks about getting words confused and says “I used to think the word Masturbate meant chewing food… obviously I don’t think that now” did have me laughing for a bit.

I did find it amusing that ITV (who are showing this) are not showing episode two because the full run would interfere with the bloody football.  What a bunch of tossers.  Anyway, I bought it and downloaded it from iTunes.  First time I’ve bought a TV episode from iTunes.  Felt good to do it legally, until I watched it.  Maybe it would play faster on my G5 but on my PowerBook, it was slow and juddery, don’t get that with anything else.  Most annoying.  Will have to try it on my G5.

Anyway, if you’re a fan of Dead Like Me, then you’re sure to enjoy this, it’s a bit more girly than Heroes, but equally enjoyable.  Looking forward to the next episode.

I was going to post something about the snow we had this morning… but I’m having *issues* with the photographs… so I’ll post it when I can get the photos down to a size that doesn’t make me look like a complete n00b. 

Instead, I’ll post about the Times Literary Festival which I’ve just been to.  WOW.  I’m going to back track a smidgen first.  I’m not overly awestruck by celebrities, they’re ok and all that but to most it’s a case of “yeah but what have you done?” You ponced around a bit for a few months acting.  It’s great for entertainment but you don’t bowl me over.  When it comes to Authors however, I’m in complete awe.  They’ve spent months writing, creating something out of nothing for thousands of people to enjoy.  Words, on a page, mean something.

So to be in a small gathering of people there to watch John Connolly and Mark Billingham talk about their craft and read excerpts from their books is pretty amazing.  So far to date I’ve met two authors, one, James Patterson, I found so utterly repellent I could no longer read his books for I found them to be as arrogant and pathetic as he was.  The other was a wonderful person, but I just don’t have the desire to read his books, (that was Iain M Banks). 

So I’ve finally met authors who I thought, were brilliant.  That said, I haven’t read anything by Mark Billingham, but having heard him read the first few pages from his latest book (which I bought but haven’t read yet… gimme a chance, I’m good but not that good, it was three hours ago), I thought how well the words were crafted that it made me re-think, and now I’ll go and read all his books.

John Connolly however was brilliant, I have his first book autographed, and personalised.  I wanted to ask more questions, but I couldn’t remember them until I got in the car, and now I’ve forgotten them again…. well when I remember I’ll post them up here.

Right, I have a mountain of books to read now, as I raided Waterstones in Bath yesterday (three for two dharling) and I went all cultural, (after all I was at a literary festival in Christ Church College Oxford), so I’ve got a book on Parallel Universes by Micho Kaku and a Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking.

Please excuse me, I’m on a bit of a science trip at the moment…

I’ve been sitting here musing the differences between scientists and spiritualists.  What I find amusing is that you have religious groups saying that God is the word, regardless of the religion.  They rely on the writings of a book, that can no longer possibly be perceived to be accurate (Chinese whispers anyone?), to tell them how to go about their life.  More often than not they do not deviate from this book, or let themselves open to alternative interpretations of what might actually be. 

Perhaps, this is why I do not believe in a religion.  I hate being told what to do.  I rebel, I can’t tell you why.  If you ask me then I’ll be more open to the thought of it.  Perhaps I don’t like the thought of there not being a possibility of something else, for there to be an explanation that has something of more substance than a “thing”, a “being” creating the earth.  It’s very much a case of “is that it?”

Perhaps I like the humbleness of scientists, I mean they are forever coming up with theories and laws and then disproving them and saying something different.  Maybe it’s the openness to different thoughts and changing ideas is what makes me smile.  That instead of settling for a book of words and a belief that makes you feel warm and cosy scientists don’t settle for just that, that they constantly question things and not settle on one answer as the right one.  

I seem to have a thing going on with the number two (not that number two you sick creatures), I mean a tale of two comedians and now two books, two films.

Last week my rental copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix arrived.  As this was the film version of the biggest Potter book, I was expecting, well, more… I have to say I was deflated and let down.  There were so many good things in the book that were simply missing from the film.  Somethings I could understand, but the Hospital scene, totally gone! why? You got to see Neville’s parents, and it would have been pretty good to see the Hospital.  Instead you got “look everyone, Dad’s back from hospital”… err, where was the gag with him trying to get stitches? Pah.  I felt there was far too much missing from the book that it seemed watered down and without direction.  I want to say more, but well there’s not much point.

And the other book? The Northern Lights, for I will call it that as it’s the British title of the book, ok so the film is called The Golden Compass, but I know it as the Northern Lights.  I saw the film today, I’ve read the book twice.  Hmmm… and indeed Hmmm… I have doubts over the casting of some of the characters, don’t get me wrong, there were some excellent actors and actresses in it, but I think it lacked conviction on places.  Ten out of Ten for the casting of Serafina Pekala, Farder Coram, Lee Skoresby, Ma Costa and Lord Faa, but the rest? hmmm. 

Dakota Blue Richards hasn’t convinced me she is Lyra, merely that she’s probably a stroppy little madam.  She seemed to struggle (as I did when reading), with the colloquialisms laid out in the book, words like “en’t” they just seemed to stick, and hang, just as much as if she’d said “fuck” at the most inopportune place.  As for Ian McKellan, he has an imposing voice, and as Gandalf it was as if he was born to play that role.  As Iorek Byrnson, he was not.  My first thought was Patrick Stewart, they’re voices are quite similar.

I was interested to hear that Daniel Craig was playing Lord Asriel and
Nicole Kidman was playing Mrs Coulter.  Daniel Craig had the worst line
in the film “Can’t we sort this out like gentlemen” (I actually
cringed) and Mrs Coulter just wasn’t as venomous as I’d hoped.  Both
excellent actors let down by a poor script.  Daniel Craig was especially let down, when you read the book, and try to imagine Lord Asriel Daniel Craig works as someone to portray him, but for some reason he just didn’t work.
 

I knew what was coming when I saw it for the first time on the screen, and then I thought, “oh god, please don’t let them do that every time Lyra reads the Aletheometer”… Sadly as there is no god, my prayers were not answered.  The worst special effect of the film was played over and over every time the Aletheometer was consulted.  The dust came swirling out of the centre of the Aletheometer and you got to see what it was telling Lyra, only it was not constructed well and you couldn’t clearly see what she was seeing.  I think had they had a stronger actress, she could have explained away what it was saying, even if it was just to Pantalaemon.

Other special effects were better than hoped.  For example the air-ships, using gyroscopes to power them was quite impressive.  The Daemons, as a rule were quite convincing, with the exception of Mrs Coulter’s golden monkey, which just didn’t look right.  There was some sloppy work in there though, the scene with Lyra riding on Iorek’s back across a frozen lake, did not flow very well, it looked, lumpy.  When Mrs Coulter bent down to pick up her Daemon on the airship, it was clumsy, badly edited.  I know a lot of money was spent on the effects, and they took a long time, but I felt they could have been done better in places.

Empire said that the ending had been cut, to act as a follow onto the next film, but it still came as a bit of a slap when you got to the end.  I was all fired up for the ending.  What they have done is imply that two of the main characters (for those of you who have not read or seen the film yet, I won’t spoil it in detail), will carry on throughout the next film, which in the book they do not, a whole new set of characters are introduced.  Why would you do that?  I don’t believe the director’s argument for doing so is a valid one. 

Again this was another film that felt watered down, whilst the outline of the plot was in essence true to the book, it just didn’t feel as rich and full bodied as the book did.  Perhaps they will polish it up further between the film and the DVD release, to give it that Lord of the Rings shine.  It has to be said, even the special effects in the Harry Potter film were significantly better.  It was good to see the film, to see it brought to life and alive, I enjoyed it, but not as much as I had hoped I would.

Update 6/12/07:
<a href=”http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7128985.stm”>Two “religious” reviews of the Golden Compass</a>, so following on from yesterday’s rather long post (above), today I read the linked reviews on BBC news online.  The first one was a pathetic attempt at a review, focusing solely on the Magesterium as a Catholic style institution.  Get over it, go harp on about how great the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe is.  It’s no reason to boycott what is in essence being marketed as a Christmas Kids film.  The kids aren’t going to see the Religious divides in this, in less their parents indoctrinate them so much that they are forced to believe that is what the film is about.  Yes I get the irony, and the sarcasm, but it’s not a film about Polar Bears.

The second review from the atheist, to a degree covered everything that I wanted to say (but probably did so poorly), he made the point I failed to, but also felt, the film was too short, it should be 2.5 hours long.  I don’t like the idea, (and I think Philip Pullman agrees) that the film is being used to wage some religious war against Catholicism and Atheism.  Whilst Pullman has recognised that the book is anti-religion, I think there is something beyond that in the book.  The books are wonderful stories, the kind that open your mind and pull you through.  As for them not being Children’s books? I think that’s incorrect, as you’ll find them in the 8 to 12 reading range in Waterstones… (I have copies, I was looking for Christmas presents).

Whilst I think the first review is a farce, I think the second one is pretty much spot on in terms of having to pull their finger out for the second and third books.  Perhaps they should get Peter Jackson on the case, he seemed to have pulled off something completely amazing with the Lord of the Rings trillogy, I’m sure he didn’t spend as much as Wietz did on the Golden Compass and it was not a sloppy production in any way.   

Do I dare to feel relieved that I’ve got an answer to a question that’s had me stressed for over a week? No, because something could still go horribly wrong and I’ll be back where I started over a week ago. I’ll post more information to my cryptic situation in the next few days when I know things are actually going to happen and I’m not just imagining it.

In other news, I have a proper job (not the Somerset variety of “praper jaab”). One that pays monthly and all that. I’m really pleased as I’ve been working there for almost a month and I’m really enjoying the people and the frenetic pace of life. I’m doing something and I can see something happening at the end of it. My colleagues are as bonkers as me and it’s great.

The things suffering would be money as usual, having an impact on going to a hen party this weekend which doesn’t look like will happen as it would be a choice of the wedding or a choice of the hen party. Still R is off on Holiday this Friday for a week so I’ll be up to lots of TV surfing and vegging. Ah… OK maybe I’ll be catching up on two weeks worth of coursework I haven’t had chance to do out of sheer stress. That and going to Goodwood. I would share my photography with you but it’s too hilarious for words.

This is another piece of my writing from my course. I kind of got it wrong, as I think I ended up with more of a descriptive piece than something that focused on the characters. Hey what can you do, I wrote it under half an hour and didn’t do much in the way of editing. I need to think more of the characters. It has not title. Anyway, feel free to comment away.

He went un-noticed in amongst the noon crowds. They were swirling around him as if he weren’t really there. The vinegar smell of the chips drifting down the street, his eyes momentarily closing as the acidic air stung them. He was not there among them now, not as they see each other, not that they care to. When his eyes re-opened, they appeared tired, and worn, as if he had seen things nobody should see in their life.

He wasn’t there to be seen. He was there to blend, to wait. I could see him, but then I knew what to look for. It was the fetid smell that lingered around him, those who came close would put it down to rotting rubbish, but I knew. I knew that smell, it was a mixture of fear, of pain, of huger and of death. A chill ran down my spine. The sky that was blue only moments ago were now rolling with thick, voluminous cloud, not the cotton candy type either, but the ominous type that precedes a soul drenching downpour.

Whilst I had no idea why he was there, I knew the outcome could not be good for whoever was involved. And whoever it was was fast approaching. I felt the first fat drops of water fall upon my skin. They felt warm, I expected a cold wave to wash over me, but the droplets were warm. I opened my hand and let the rain fall into my waiting hand, the drops collecting and merging to form a small glassy pool on my hand. As I brought my hand closer to examine the water, there was a rushing movement in front of me. I had let my guard down.

“You have no claim to be here, curiosity will cause you nothing but harm” His voice was soft and devoid of any emotion. He was old enough to know wiser.

I shuddered, though not from the rain that was now soaking me, I knew I shouldn’t be here. I had slipped out without anyone noticing, I thought I was being clever, but now I realised I was wrong. An icy spear of fear rushed through my body, routing me to the ground, I could not find the words to respond, I knew that by not doing so, I was being disrespectful.

“The others know you are here, they will come for you, I can offer you no protection. Your curiosity will not go un-punished. Do you understand me?” He said only to re-iterate his point.

“y-y-yes” I stammered, which was more than I thought I could manage. My stupidity was now washing over me in waves of nausea mixing with the fear.

He flinched; something had caught his senses, already heightened by the steady down pour of rain. He looked back at me and told me to leave. My instincts told me to find somewhere to hide, trouble was coming and it was no longer a game.

Downloading the Top Gun soundtrack for your other half because he knows all the words to the film and laughs before the cheesy lines are said… I used to like the film, but it seems to have waned some what since the other half guiltily admitted he knows all the words. I’m obviously not watching the film because I’m typing this… Tom Cruise? pft, is Katie Holmes blind?

Well it’s five days to go and I’m still being shafted. Firstly the phone call on a Saturday, was possibly a bit rude “why are you bothering me on a Saturday?” asked I.
“Are you coming to the Christmas party?” (originally planned for the 13th of December… an evening I am for a change doing something on, but I’ll get to that later).
“What day is it on?” Says I, believing it to be the 13th, so I could out smart the person bothering me on a Saturday.
“Oh we’ve moved it to the Tuesday as the venue has changed” Bugger thinks I.
“No thanks, I’m busy” washing my hair thinks I.
“Oh come on you shouldn’t leave like this” Like what? I hate Christmas parties, especially ones with people I’d rather not socialise with.
“No thank you, I’ll be out overnight the day after, I’d rather spend the evening with R” How much will it take to get them to go away I’m thinking at this point.
“Oh come on” I mean really, which party of No are they having issues with, the “N” or the “O” or perhaps the forming of the words.
“I’ve got better things to do than spend the evingening with the evil one and little lord twuntleroy thanks” Yeah, like watch CSI and spend the evening with cultured company.
“oh OK” Gah! that took too long.

Anyway, I get an email from the evil one saying “the new office is ready for us to move in”, and telling us we’re helping to move everything on Monday night. I mean seriously, does this person know the concept of “asking”? you know, seeing if we might have anything better to do than spend all night humping boxes? The last time I got told to help, I ended up in excruciating agony, and spending money I didn’t have on an osteopath. You’ll forgive me if I’m not really enthralled in “helping”. Oh that coupled with getting stuck in the new office on Friday with no internet, and a rather pleasant telecoms guy. The “reliable boss” said they would be back before 6 which is the end of our work day to relieve me as I was expecting guests… 10 past no sign of said boss. Great… luckily someone else turned up… however that 10 minutes meant it took me 2 hours to get home. How considerate? yeah, not really.

Now this Wednesday I have tickets to the opening night of the Nutcracker at the Royal Opera House… part of my inheritance paid for those tickets, my mother never took me, so I thought I’d take myself. Who wants to lay bets on the evil one, knowing full well that I have these tickets will conspire to ensure I don’t leave the office on time? Who wants to place a bet as to whether said employee will walk out with utterances of “screw you, and the horse you rode in on”… watch this space people.

So I finally got around ot buying the book by Mark Thomas (see the post title for the book). Having seen Mark Thomas live just before Chirstmas last year, and cried myself silly with laughter, I couldn’t wait for the book. Ok so it’s not as funny as the stand up show, and a lot of it was really bits about the stand up show, but it also followed a serious theme.

For those of you who don’t know Mark Thomas’ work, he’s a political comedian, and a damn fine one to boot (in the funny sense of the words). Well he decided to take on the arms trade. Trying to find out what it would be like to be an arms dealer. The book covers how ironic the country is at banning certain items. Like for example, you can’t sell ankle chains as their considered torture devices, but if you label them Large Hand Cuffs, then hey, away you go. He even talks about how he worked with two schools, one in England and one in Ireland to set up an arms trading company in order to sell arms, just to prove how easy it is.

I would strongly recommend the book, especially to the reader(s) out there who may or may not have worked in the industry. I’m sure that some paralells (fuck did I just say that), could be drawn (yes, I really did just say that), between his book and the realities.

If you want to read one book this summer that’s not the Da Vinci Code, or one of Richard and Judy’s “must reads”, then I’d suggest this, it’s funny, and educational. Failing that for the illiterate amonst you (not many I’m sure), I would suggest catching one of Mark’s stand up shows, they’re cheap and a bloody good laugh.

Well it would appear that some of the stress I’ve been under is now officially wipped out… Not only have i been managing the stress that the news of my mother’s death brought, but I’ve been trying to get a new job, not just a job… THE job to end all jobs… it’s my dream job. A cold call letter, some help from my best friends (one who helped more than words can describe) two interviews, research, negotiation, and a slightly lower wage… but all for something really big. It’s a three month contract to begin with, but to be reviewed… Now I’ve got to keep up the wow factor… I’m bouncing off the ceiling, I’m jumping up and down and I’m a bundle of nerves… but I’ve got it… All good things come to those who wait and hard work does pay off.